Worst Mall Trip Ever
May. 11th, 2006 01:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
terryclothIt probably started when we arrived at the food court. My mother was driving, and wanted to stop for a coffee. I decided I should probably stay in the car, because I was naked.
"Why didn't you put on clothes before you left the house? You always do this! Well, it's too late now. You'll just have to go out there and be naked."
"I thought we were just going to pick up my sister at her piano class... no, it's okay, I'll just turn into a bird."
So I did. A crow, specifically -- there's always lots of crows around, and none of them ever wear clothes.
"Um... is it working? You know I can't see my own illusions."
"[Grunt]"
I assumed that it was, and certainly no one else seemed to care. Of course, I couldn't actually buy a coffee, or go into any of the other stores as a crow. Mom decided this was too annoying and left to go get me some clothes, leaving me alone in the mall.
She came back a while later with my sister, but no clothes. The mall was closing by that point, but when I headed out towards the car they told me they'd parked on the other side of the mall. Apparently, they'd also parked a completely different car -- my bright red shiny convertible, instead of the white station wagon. "You drive," mom said, "At least until we find where you parked."
Of course, I'd parked on the opposite side of the mall, and it wasn't obvious from outside which side corresponded to the one I'd parked on, especially since it was apparently some sort of hyper-square -- after the sixteenth corner, we still hadn't either found the car or gotten back to where we started. I was starting to think their car had been stolen, or possibly consumed by the massive construction projects that kept threatening to pitch us down sudden open pits, sink us into quicksand-like cement, or smash us beneath the treads of caterpillars. I was getting really agitated, and started driving faster and faster until I lost control of the car and did a 180-degree spinout, just barely missing smashing into a row of parked BMWs.
"That's it," mom said, "I'm driving."
Then I woke up. Brrrr.
"Why didn't you put on clothes before you left the house? You always do this! Well, it's too late now. You'll just have to go out there and be naked."
"I thought we were just going to pick up my sister at her piano class... no, it's okay, I'll just turn into a bird."
So I did. A crow, specifically -- there's always lots of crows around, and none of them ever wear clothes.
"Um... is it working? You know I can't see my own illusions."
"[Grunt]"
I assumed that it was, and certainly no one else seemed to care. Of course, I couldn't actually buy a coffee, or go into any of the other stores as a crow. Mom decided this was too annoying and left to go get me some clothes, leaving me alone in the mall.
She came back a while later with my sister, but no clothes. The mall was closing by that point, but when I headed out towards the car they told me they'd parked on the other side of the mall. Apparently, they'd also parked a completely different car -- my bright red shiny convertible, instead of the white station wagon. "You drive," mom said, "At least until we find where you parked."
Of course, I'd parked on the opposite side of the mall, and it wasn't obvious from outside which side corresponded to the one I'd parked on, especially since it was apparently some sort of hyper-square -- after the sixteenth corner, we still hadn't either found the car or gotten back to where we started. I was starting to think their car had been stolen, or possibly consumed by the massive construction projects that kept threatening to pitch us down sudden open pits, sink us into quicksand-like cement, or smash us beneath the treads of caterpillars. I was getting really agitated, and started driving faster and faster until I lost control of the car and did a 180-degree spinout, just barely missing smashing into a row of parked BMWs.
"That's it," mom said, "I'm driving."
Then I woke up. Brrrr.
