Poor Performance Performance
Jun. 24th, 2004 04:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
terryclothIt's performance review time at work again. I @#$%^& hate performance reviews. At best, I'll get a 3.5 and nothing will happen. At worst, I'll get a 4.0 and get promoted, or a 3.0 and be on probation lest I be fired -- the two are roughly equivalent in badness, in my mind, since both would require me to pay more attention and put more effort into my work.
Still, bullshitting about past accomplishments is the *easy* part, this year. This year, HR decided to make the always unpleasant task of assigning yourself goals for the next year harder by renaming them 'commitments' and giving separate boxes for the commitment itself, what you plan to do to accomplish it, and how you plan to measure success. This makes it harder to surrepetitiously skip the last two.
The last is especially annoying because it promises future pain. I don't know of any metrics measuring my performance. I'm pretty sure there are some being tracked, but I'm never told what they are or how I'm doing on them except in the same general terms that I always phrased my goals in the past. Am I being tracked on raw bug counts? Regressions? Bugs/kloc?
Everyone else's reviews are due by July 6th. My team has to get them in today because my lead is going on vacation until July 6th. After two days of sitting around and spinning my mental gears -- interspersed liberally with outright shirking to avoid thinking about the painful process, and interrupted far too often by useless meetings that the testers all scheduled as a last ditch effort to fill in some checkbox on their own review goal sheet -- I have something written in every box, now.
Does that mean I'm done? I have about an hour before I need to send it off, so I guess I'm finished...
Still, bullshitting about past accomplishments is the *easy* part, this year. This year, HR decided to make the always unpleasant task of assigning yourself goals for the next year harder by renaming them 'commitments' and giving separate boxes for the commitment itself, what you plan to do to accomplish it, and how you plan to measure success. This makes it harder to surrepetitiously skip the last two.
The last is especially annoying because it promises future pain. I don't know of any metrics measuring my performance. I'm pretty sure there are some being tracked, but I'm never told what they are or how I'm doing on them except in the same general terms that I always phrased my goals in the past. Am I being tracked on raw bug counts? Regressions? Bugs/kloc?
Everyone else's reviews are due by July 6th. My team has to get them in today because my lead is going on vacation until July 6th. After two days of sitting around and spinning my mental gears -- interspersed liberally with outright shirking to avoid thinking about the painful process, and interrupted far too often by useless meetings that the testers all scheduled as a last ditch effort to fill in some checkbox on their own review goal sheet -- I have something written in every box, now.
Does that mean I'm done? I have about an hour before I need to send it off, so I guess I'm finished...
