Survey, with extra DOOM

[terrycloth]

From sythyry:

DEMOGRAPHICS: What is ...
Your real physical gender, based on what's between your legs: male
Your real social gender, based on how people treat you: male (barely)
Your real marital/relationship status: never been in one
Your real standard form of transportation: aging Neon
Your real physical appearance: overweight, pimply, long hair
Your real usual clothing: t-shirt and jeans
Your real job: computer programmer

OPTIMAL DEMOGRAPHICS: If the world had been really good to you, but still stayed within the constraints of its physical and social reality (as you interpret it), what would be ...
Your optimal physical gender, based on what's between your legs: whatever
Your optimal social gender, based on how people treat you: same
Your optimal marital/relationship status: married with kids?
Your optimal standard form of transportation: minivan!
Your optimal physical appearance: thinner, with better skin
Your optimal usual clothing: same
Your optimal job: same, only for some reason I'd still like it as much as I did when I first started

PESSIMAL DEMOGRAPHICS: If the world had been really bad to you, but still stayed within the constraints of its physical and social reality (as you interpret it), what would be ...
Your pessimal physical gender, based on what's between your legs: whatever
Your pessimal social gender, based on how people treat you: opposite. Being transgender would suck.
Your pessimal marital/relationship status: being sued by horrible monstrous evil person that led me on just long enough to steal everything I own
Your pessimal standard form of transportation: being slowly pushed around in an unpowered wheelchair by a nursing home attendant
Your pessimal physical appearance: wasted, paralyzed
Your pessimal usual clothing: hospital gown
Your pessimal job: nursing home resident

DOOMFUL DEMOGRAPHICS: What's the absolute worst that you can imagine, in any world that you could consider even a little bit possible, for ...
Your doomful physical gender, based on what's between your legs: none
Your doomful social gender, based on how people treat you: furniture
Your doomful marital/relationship status: not applicable
Your doomful standard form of transportation: immobile
Your doomful physical appearance: weird gigeresque/cyberpunk borgish combination
Your doomful usual clothing: none
Your doomful job: home appliance

WONDERFUL DEMOGRAPHICS: What's the absolute best that you can imagine, in any world that you could consider even a little bit possible, for ...
Your wonderful physical gender, based on what's between your legs: various/multiple
Your wonderful social gender, based on how people treat you: amusing pets
Your wonderful marital/relationship status: various/multiple
Your wonderful standard form of transportation: magical flight
Your wonderful physical appearance: hundreds of squirrels
Your wonderful usual clothing: assorted shiny things
Your wonderful job: collective consciousness

DREAM DEMOGRAPHICS: When you dream about yourself (and we're talking real dreams here, like when you sleep -- we covered your 'dream job' earlier), what is:
Your dreamed physical gender, based on what's between your legs: varies
Your dreamed social gender, based on how people treat you: usually non
Your dreamed marital/relationship status: usually non
Your dreamed standard form of transportation: either platformer style running and jumping, or a car that keeps starting on its own and has no brakes
Your dreamed physical appearance: varies widely
Your dreamed usual clothing: I never dream about clothing, although I only rarely dream that I'm nude
Your dreamed job: usually something ad hoc, often 'student'