Sunday... Toon?

[terrycloth]

As a change from the normal board games, we made some characters for Toon on Sunday and ran a one-shot session, with Kyle GMing. Sorry, 'playing the animator'. Toon is a ridiculous old-school game where stats are randomly rolled, dying is impossible, and cartoon physics are the norm. So, the rest of us made characters.

Josh made Tannith, a giant anthro bee who carried around his hive to better obey the orders of his (unseen) queen.
Xodiac played a coyote, Xodiac, out for money and 'to make Terrycloth's character look bad'.
I made Rainy Daze, a pegasus pony who was out to look cool and complete any challenge set before him. Even if it was stupid.

The three heroes met in the ACME Factory, where they'd just been hired as testers. After introducing themselves to each other, they were met by a stoner jackal who led them into a cluttered laboratory with a ballerina roadrunner and a strange scientist huddled over an experiment of some sort.

Xodiac screamed and hid from the terrifying roadrunner. "Get it away from me!" Rainy Daze asked her to dance, and tried to dance her as far away from his new friend as possible, but the room was too small -- so he set her spinning and sprayed her with paint to paint her grey, and told the cowering coyote that the new shift of ballerina was in, and this one was just an ostrich. Nothing to be afraid of!

That out of the way, they were given their assignment. Assignments. Corporate policy required a balanced approach to new hires -- they'd have to accomplish a task for all three departments before being paid. First, they'd have to solve a mystery for the Jackal -- the manager in the cafetria would have the details.

Xodiac: "The mystery of what they put in the mystery meat?"
Jackal: "Perhaps THAT mystery is best left unsolved."
Rainy: "Ha! I bet I could solve it!"

For the ballerina, they were supposed to find some way to add culture and class to the cafeteria. And for the scientist... they had to test three strange devices, which were offered to them in gift-wrapped boxes. Tannith's box had a bunch of dice, of unknown purpose. Rainy Daze's box refused to open -- when he pulled off the ribbon, it started spinning around and hovering in midair.

Xodiac got a port-hole gun, which he immediately fired into the floor. Sure enough, a port-hole opened... without a window. Water started flooding through! "Hit the blue button!" cried the scientist. Instead, he shot another one in the wall, which was apparently above water because that one showed a starry night sky, albeit with an ocean stretching to the horizon underneath. "Hit the green button!" said the scientist desperately. Xodiac hit the green button, and the port-holes were connected to each other. Rainy nosed his hovering cube through one, and it came out the other, then spun over to hover next to him again.

Xodiac: "So what does this red button do?"
Rainy: "Push it and let's see!"

Apparently, it summoned tentacles.

Rainy (as the party dodged the tentacles): "Cool! I think we know all we need to let's go to the cafeteria now bye!"
Scientist: "Wait -- you need to --" *door slams*

As they walked down the hallway to the cafeteria, Xodiac randomly fired the port-hole gun at the walls, opening up four more port-holes to... more tentacles. This time, the party didn't dodge, except for Tannith. And the hovering box. Since the box was obviously his friend, Rainy asked it for help! It hovered in front of him and presented him with five ambiguous options -- he chose the switch, and the world went away, leaving only the three protagonists.

Rainy: "Well, I guess that worked."
Tannith: "Did you just destroy the world?"
Rainy: "Nah, it's just switched off. I can bring it back, see?"

Sure enough, it brought back the world. And the tentacles. Which were still wrapping them up, since no one had moved. The box wasn't going to help them again right away either, collapsing in exhaustion. Xodiac managed to escape from the tentacles by hiding from them and getting to release him in their confusion, while Rainy Daze decided to reinterpret the situation.

Rainy: "What? No, I'm not trapped. The tentacles and I are in love! We're just... snuggling."

Regardless, Tannith tried to save him by tossing one of his dice. It apparently rolled 'Giant Indiana Jones Boulder', which started rumbling down the hallway, straight at them! Tannith ran.

Rainy, to the tentacles: "Flee, my love! Get to safety! I'll save you from the boulder!" This worked -- the tentacles retracted into the port-holes, freeing him to... stop the boulder. With a tornado. The little dust devil he could summon indoors spun the giant rock to a halt two inches from his nose, and he leaned back against it, putting on his sunglasses and posing.

Xodiac pulled out a stick of dynamite. "I'll save you!" he said, tossing it at the now immobile boulder. SURELY not at his FRIEND. Unfortunately for him, he dropped it behind himself while trying to throw it and ended up blowing himself up, slamming into the boulder next to the pegasus.

So, they made it to the cafeteria more or less intact. It was a seafood restaurant themed as being at the bottom of the ocean, complete with a pufferfist waiter and cuttlefish chef who seemed to be 'swimming' in midair. The manager was up in his office, looking impatient and worried. So, (after Tannith stole all the sugar packets inside for his hive) they headed for the busy-looking chef.

Xodiac: "We were told you had a mystery for us to solve."
Chef: "Oh! Yes, there's been --"
Rainy: "What are you cooking. Or should I say WHO are you cooking?"
Chef: "... what?"
Rainy: "CONFESS!"

Eventually, the conversation wandered around to the actual mystery -- the chef's eggs had all been stolen, along with the manager's prize baseball collection and the bowling balls from the adjacent bowling alley.

I... don't really remember this next part clearly, but somehow it ended up with Xodiac cowering inside an oven, which was accidentally turned on, and Rainy Daze attacking the oven as a potential thief and failing pathetically. Xodiac waved his underpants out the door, which was taken as a sign of surrender, and Rainy Daze demanded the over open up and submit to a cavity search. Xodiac emerged, slightly scorched, to report a lack of eggs or bowling balls inside the oven. The oven was not the thief!

Xodiac: "I think the oven was just a red herring."
Cuttlefish: "No, those are in the other oven over there."

Next, they decided to check the refrigerator for clues. While it looked like an ordinary fridge, opening it up revealed a demon-looking creature who demanded to know what service they were seeking.

Xodiac: "We're looking for the gatekeeper!"

But she was out, and the demon didn't know who'd taken all the eggs. "I think the last person to take an egg was... Cthulhu? Someone fishy, anyway."

Xodiac: "Rainy, you should go inside the fridge and check for clues."
Rainy: "I don't know... my mom said I should never ever go inside a refrigerator."
Xodiac: "What, are you afraid?"
Rainy: "Fine, fine, I'll go in and check for clues then. You guys come with me, we'll search faster with all three of us!" Fast talk is a wonderful skill.

The demon closed the door behind them. It was dark. And cold. Not totally dark, since some of the food glowed, but...

Xodiac: "Okay, how do I open this door to Cthulhu's house?"
Rainy: "You can't open the door from inside, silly. That's why you're not supposed to climb into a refrigerator. We'll just have to wait until someone else opens it."

Meanwhile, they searched -- and saw that everything round was missing, sometimes with an obvious place where it had once been sitting. But they needed light to find clues. Rainy tied the brightest glowing food to a balloon so it could hover in midair as a light.

Then all three of them noticed that it smelled *really good*. Rainy and Xodiac were canny enough to realize that it was probably dangerous, but...

Xodiac: "I dare you to eat it, Rainy."
Rainy: "I bet I can eat more of it than you without dying!"

Luckily for them, Tannith had already stolen it before they worked out the details of the contest, and fed it to his hive. "What? It was honey!" It was also dark again.

Time for port-holes! The second scene change opened a ceiling port-hole onto a sunny day, which lit up the fridge nicely and really pissed off the demon. Ignoring him, they searched for clues... but couldn't find any. Then, the fridge door opened.

Elvira: "What are you doing in my fridge? Oooh, you're cute. I think you'd make a wonderful baby!"

She started to step into the fridge to grab Xodiac.

Rainy: "STOP! Little girls can't go in the refrigerator!!!"

That held her back for the moment, and they were able to talk about their mission. Apparently, Elvira was also missing an egg! She offered to take them to her nursery to look for more clues, and they of course all accepted.

Demon: "Hey, aren't you going to do anything about all this sun --" *door slams closed*

After watching Elvira laboriously undo the multitude of locks on the vault-like door to her nursery, they stepped past all her 'babies' to examine the now-empty nest. Some of the babies begged for the party to rescue them, but they were focused on their task! Xodiac took a sniff and smelled something fishy... with a trail leading to the wall of the nursery. Rainy asked his cube for help following the trail through the wall, and this time picked an icon that looked like a cave entrance. Which created... a cave entrance. He immediately rushed in! Xodiac took the time to see whether the trail actually *went* into the cave, and somewhat to his surprise, it did, so he followed.

Tannith negotiated for the freedom of one of Elvira's babies -- a penguin -- in return for one of his dice, which he promised her would make all the babies she wanted. Then ran into the cave as the penguin thanked him for the rescue, as Elvira rolled the die... and was buried in a pile of crying babies. Who knew?

The three met up at an intersection, where the cave split three ways. Xodiac had lost the trail, so they didn't know which way to do. The only thing to do was split up! Xodiac sent Rainy to the tunnel sloping upwards ("Since you're a flying creature") and Tannith to the one sloping downwards ("Since you're a flying creature") while he took the middle passage, that was level. To keep in contact with each other, he broke off three rocks and used the port-hole gun to create linked portals between them, so they'd be able to talk even if they split up.

Heading up, Rainy came across a chamber inhabited by a beautiful pegasus singing a wonderful song -- he was hypnotized, and approached her to ask about eggs. She thought she might have some in a back room -- but as she broke eye contact, he spotted something out of place, and managed to break out of his daze. Suspicious, he followed her stealthily, and saw her preparing a giant boiling stew-pot in a room full of bones. And NO EGGS. NONE WHATSOEVER.

Rainy: "Okay, this is a total waste of time. I'd better head back and see if the others are having better luck."

Xodiac's tunnel quickly came to a cave-in, full of boxes. He pried one open... only to find it full of ZOMBIE ROADRUNNERS.

Zombie Roadrunners: "Meatmeat! GRAAAAAAINS."

In a panic, he started screaming and throwing dynamite everywhere.

Down below, Tannith and the penguin ('Tap') came to a tidepool connected to the ocean, with a large island in the center.Tap swam and Tannith flew towards it, using his now-glowing hive as a light source. Just then, randomly thrown dynamite flew out his port-hole, arcing towards the island below. "Watch out! Dynamite!" he shouted, to alert anyone on the island.

Voice: "No! My children!"

Tannith dove to try to grab the dynamite, but missed -- but Tap saved the day, throwing an oyster to knock the dynamite off course and into the water, which put out the fuse. Before the oyster could fall, a familiar tentacle whipped up and grabbed the oyster, dragging it back to the island.

Meanwhile, Rainy's stealth was ruined by a shrill scream coming out his port-hole. And some dynamite. "Um... creepy lady, you'd better take this dynamite and put it out in your spooky bubbling cauldron, I've got eggs to find!" he called out, while continuing his quick but no-longer-stealthy retrograde advance back towards the intersection. Where he met Xodiac, a bit singed from his own failure to dodge the dynamite that hadn't gone through the port-holes.

Rainy: "No eggs my way."
Xodiac: "None down that passage either."
Rainy: "Let's go see if Tannith had any luck then."
Xodiac: "Actually -- why don't you go doublecheck mine? I'll catch up with Tannith."
Rainy: "*sigh* FINE."

All Rainy found was a tunnel too hot to walk down, though -- any eggs in the middle passage had obviously been destroyed. He limped out and caught up with Xodiac as they arrived at the tide pool cavern, where Tannith and Tap were hiding at the edge of the island, looking all around nervously to avoid getting snatched by tentacles.

Xodiac: "We'd better get to the island -- let's take that boat."
Rainy: "Wow, a boat down here? I don't suppose there's any pirate treasure?"

Unfortunately, Xodiac was unable to spot the pirate treasure. Rainy didn't manage to fly over the water, but did manage to buzz his wings and summon up a gust, acting as an outboard motor for the inflatable raft. He also managed to flip around acrobatically and land gracefully when they inevitably crashed into the shore -- Xodiac went flying, landing on top of a giant octopus.

Octopus: "Who -- who are you? Stay away from my children!"
Rainy: "Sorry, ma'am, but we can't do that. We're the nursery inspectors, here to make sure you're taking proper care of your kids. You want them to be safe, right?"
Octopus: "Oh yes, yes. That's so important! I lost my glasses and someone stole all my eggs, and I only just managed to get them all back!"

Searching around, Xodiac and Rainy found that the island was covered in all the stolen items, all of which were large and round and none of which were giant octopus eggs. Xodiac also found her glasses, and by hiding behind them managed to get the octopus to grab them instead of him as she sent a questing tentacle after the sound of his voice.

Octopus: "Oh my! These aren't my children!"
Rainy: "Someone must have stolen them, and replaced them with these cheap fakes! We'd better take these for evidence."
Octopus: "But what about my babies?"
Rainy: "I think I know how criminals like this think -- they probably hid the eggs nearby, thinking that we'd never check someplace so close to the scene of the crime. Tap, search the lake!"

Sure enough, the octopus' eggs were all at the bottom of the lake, where they'd rolled off the island as the octopus clumsily flailed around without her glasses. The mystery was solved!

Tap had to carry the 'eggs' back for them, since none of the party were strong enough to lift heavy things.

Jackal: "So you solved the mystery?"
Rainy: "We did. The culprit was none other than my old nemesis... GRAVITY."

For the ballerina, Tap, who did in fact know how to tapdance, was installed in the cafeteria as the new entertainment. And for the scientist... clearly Rainy Daze and Xodiac had tested their inventions, but Tannith hadn't even rolled half his dice!

Rainy: "Just roll them all now, and let's see what they do!"

So he did.

As the sky outside turned red, and a loud demonic cackling echoed over the land, the scientist rubbed his whiskers, and said, "Iiiiinteresting!"

And so that was the end. Maybe we'll play again some other time, maybe we'll even use the same characters. Who knows?